Morning arises and you wake up, switching on the news and scrolling through your social media discovering a virus is spreading through countries rapidly and not slowing down, they call it coronavirus or Covid-19 for short, suddenly you have a headache and your throat begins to dry up, the symptoms are there and your frightened but they disappear when your distracted.
When it comes to mental health someone with anxiety might have obsessions and compulsions relating to illness including researching symptoms checking to see if they have them, they might misinterpret the physical signs of anxiety such as heart racing or dizziness as symptoms are like a heart attack.
So where do I begin with it all I’m 26-year-old with autism, medical conditions and mental health along with being an outdoor student in university, things were about to change for the foreseeable future, and this is where it starts.
I spend near enough 24hrs a day outside whether that’s up mountains, climbing crags or kayaking down a rapid, being autistic doesn’t help as I have routines and I don’t like change so having everything happen within near enough a day/week was hard, but also I have to be careful I’m not catching this coronavirus as I have a really low immune system and brain damage to my left side which cause seizures and if I gained a fever or get sick my seizures will worsen and my body wouldn’t be able to take the sickness or the heat.
As much as I will regret staying in, I’m spending as much time inside and seeing how my brain reacts everyday to being indoors and how my mental health and anxiety can handle being trapped indoors, breaking isolation when I can because I have to keep myself well fed and hydrated, walks and little trips may be needed as well, they might be non-essential right now but in the light of an outdoor university student, i will need still need to finish my work whether that’s indoors with my laptop or making videos outdoors to submit online due to not being able to actually do my assessments and by doing that if I have to walk hours on end to be that better person, I shall.
I take on this little experiment and see if it makes and sees me as a better person or it actually breaks me, yes this is no joke, but we can fight this together to make the world again.
With the world 🌎 going crazy right now and 3 months since we got told about this virus swooping into the UK and spending the first Christmas without my gradpapa it was gonna be a difficult year I already knew it 🙃
March 2020
It was 24th March 2020 the day the world stood still and the country went into lockdown for 3 weeks and the only 4 key things were put in place (essential travel for shopping or medication, work if you cant work from home, caring for a vulnerable person and around 1hr exercise a day). This would be reviewed every 3 weeks until further notice
So let's start from the beginning back in October/November where it all began in Wuhan, China where they declared to the World Health Organisation a virus is spreading through there country and then it eventually started spreading all over the world, no one was safe from it and action all over the globe started to take place. They called it Coronavirus or COVID-19 for short,
Schools started to shut, then it went onto big time businesses and non-essential shopping centres were closed, we went from 0 deaths to the toll now reaching just under 10 000 within 4 months, action was about to be taken further when the country went from being normal to being trapped in our homes
Week 1
Week 1 had started and it was Monday morning and the feeling of not being able to go out was already getting to me, I started to stress I was gaining 4 wall syndrome and it hadn't even been 24hrs since lockdown, I needed to keep myself occupied so i dove into university work and focused on yoga, meditation, teaching myself to read a little better, there was not much else to do.
Day 5
It was 5 days into lockdown and my anxiety was hitting the roof, I just wanted fresh air and I wanted the outdoors badly, I went from being 24hrs outside to over 100hrs inside and I was dreading the fact we had 2 more weeks of this lockdown to go.
Week 2
Week 2 had started I done up my garden and made it clearer so I can at least gain some fresh air and meditate outside even if it wasnt nature I needed it more than ever now and I could sit out there for hours without anyone complaining.
Over time I adapted to the garden more, it's not the best but it would have to do for now and with only one more week to go of lockdown hopefully and then it was reviewed i was counting down the days hour by hour, day by day and minute by minute.
Week 3
Week 3 came and I was nearly finished with my university work I had a few little bits to complete however i was forcing myself to spread it over the weeks because i would be left with nothing if lockdown was extended, I have till May 4th to complete all of it and were only in the beginning of April
Well it's now the weekend before the 3rd week is finally over and due to the peak of coronavirus not getting hit yet the government has decided to not lift the lockdown, ahhh I feel even more trapped now, I know it's for the best to save as many lives as we can by staying at home but could I deal with another 3 weeks.
Not only has this lockdown postponed my trips and having to study from home, I started to get myself even more frustrated each day because I just wanted to be outdoors, and as well as that it was the longest I'd been away from my family, how was I going to cope with more weeks to come.
Week 5
Week 5 was already here and we were going into the six week, and I felt more lost than ever, my autism was stressing out, my speech was failing me every day as my brain was used to being on the move every day, I wanted to be outdoors, more than ever now, I was always used to having a plan in my head from months of planning everything I was doing for my 2nd year of university to planning my summer and all of it just went POOF and just like that it was all over, I'm just hoping that I can do some research in lockdown and do my travels over July and August and then back for September to start my 3rd Year but we shall see .......
Week 9
Well its currently week 9 and the past few weeks have gone by slowly lockdown is still around in all of the UK, however easing of it is slowly taking action, outdoors is open for everyone ..... 2m distance is still in place ..... we can meet up to six people in england, 2 in wales and as many as you want in scotland outdoors of course ..... Wales and Scotland are still lockdown so no travels for me at the moment which is destroying my outdoor life of adventures, nothing comes of us when things are taken away from us.
My autism is frustrating me every single day, my anxiety is stressing me out and my life feels like a new normal as the world around me still stands still in my eyes, routines are not the same, change is a nightmare and well it's just not me anymore, I needed structure and I needed it fast because if the world starts to go back to normal September hopefully I needed my routine back the way it was.
5 months since lockdown
So its currently July 13th 2020 and it has been nearly 5 months since the country went into lockdown, starting June 2020 the country starting opening up a bit more, you could go visit family in gardens, then visit them indoors, shops started to open, the new NORMAL seems to be what it is right now, we are all moving in different speeds from England starting first to Scotland and Ireland catching up and then lastly Wales is starting to open their borders, freedom seems so close but its just not the same its still 2m social distancing in most of the UK, England being taken down to 1m+ and looking into the future Adventures are starting to arise again ....... but were do I stand may you ask, well at the moment nowhere as the adventures I want to undertake are currently underview with the government rules and also social distancing makes it impossible to actually have that adventure but later down the line WE WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN.
University is going online, possibly for the year, its not how I wanted to spend my final year and Coronavirus/COVID-19 is going to be around alot longer than we know so keeping 2m distance and not having that kinda education is going to destroy alot of university students, i know its to keep safe and I believe that and take that on bored but at the same time my opinion around remote learning as an outdoor adventure student who's whole course means outdoors not indoors, its a hard decision, i get that too but just because were adults, we are still classed as a school, we are still classed as education and we should be aloud to learn the way we know, were adults we know how to social distance a little more than children and as for the government rules anyone in education will go back in September, that should mean Universities too right? I think the university just needs to get a grip on what the government is saying and follow them rules instead of taking their own path, but like I said thats my OPINION and I am entitled to that whether someone likes it or not.
Masks are compulsory on public transport, but the way I see it is to protect people from yourself, not to protect yourself from people, i don't know how a mask can prevent someone sneezing or coughing on you 🤔 yes there is little protection but only to your mouth and nose, them germs can easily come on to your clothes or even your face, OH and now they have become compulsory in shops from 24th July 2020 in England, slowly loosing our identity to the world over the cousin of the flu.
I know its a scary world out there and this pandemic has been horrible for many people, but also you have to see another side to it, loads more people die from diseases, cancer, the flu itself and many more illnesses than they have of Coronavirus, yes we have to protect our family and our loved ones also keep safe at all cost but this is not going away for a very long time and there will always be a trace of it just like the flu.
Keeping safe is a main priority right now and i do believe that, so thats why every week or month or months I write exactly what is happening in the world so we can reflect on it in near future to make a difference and protect the world that stood still March 2020.
20th July and I finally got to go on my first adventure after 6 months of not travelling 😅masks are still compulsory on public transport and as from 24th July shops in England 🇬🇧 it becomes mandatory I understand the safety but also looking at a different side, they protect you from you inhaling coughs and sneezes but does it really protect you from the whole shabang because it can end up on your face and clothes without you realising but nobody sees that and in my opinion masks are just not worth it
As my travels and adventures take me back into Wales .... FINALLY I end up in Menai Bridge/Anglesey, public transport masks are mandatory there too but not in shops at the moments and as for being outdoors you don't have to wear them at all
Filming for my university assignment (dissertation)
2m distance is still in place all over the UK apart from England which is 2m still along with 1m+ if social distancing cannot be met, keep following this journey into the NEW NORMAL and see where the world ends up as we eventually end up hitting September when schools, colleges etc start to go back after nearly 6 months of learning online, will it be the same, routine is going to hard to get back to and will i ever return to university lectures 🧐
7 months since lockdown
Well its now September 2020 and the world is still battling this virus of COVID-19, over the past 2 months I have been studying online and few travel places to shoot my film and get that ready for when I go back to university, of course still keeping the distance away from people and having masks still compulsory on public transport and shops etc, it hasn't much changed since I wrote a couple of months ago
As university kicks back online and sitting at a desk at home is the new normal 😑, I think to myself how much more can I take of this ...
Local lockdowns are happening and now its hit closer to home for at least 2 weeks, oh what joy this is going to bring for my mental health.
So let me take you on a little journey to this book i came across recently, this book was wrote in 1981 and has literally predicted the Coronavirus to a point, in 2020 a virus will hit the globe attacking the lungs and resisting all known treatments and then it will suddenly disappear quickly as it arrived and attack ten years later and the disappear all together
I am still waiting for this day to happen and I hope its sooner than later because I would at least like a little bit of normality before I finish university all together
As we are battling this many people are battling mental health over past few months i have seen and heard of many sad stories due to this COVID-19 situation and nobody there to help as we have had to try isolate from people, its hard when it's difficult to explain to someone how you feel when you don't know yourself how you feel, trust me I have that feeling everyday and with autism on top of that it's like my whole world comes crashing down before its even began, but there is always people to help myself being one of them, I may suffer from many things but I was brought up to support and help people in tough times and thats what I shall do
Together we can fight this horrible disease, virus whatever you want to call it, WE GOT THIS !
Stay tuned as I continue to tell how we are battling with ourselves and the worlds most deadliest virus
Well its currently 22nd September 2020 and at 2000 the restrictions come into place, no its not a second lockdown but certain areas such as mine have gone into local lockdown however the rules are just as confusing as before, we can go out to the pub but we can't see our family or friends safely in our support bubble and there is a chance that this could last 6 months 🙄
I know the world is struggling right now and we are all trying our best to beat this virus however the virus is within us all I belive however some people are more immune to it than others, its the cousin of the flu and with winter season round the corner, its a way that we just have to live with the virus, however that is just my opinion
The outdoors mean alot to me and for nearly a year I havent done as much as I would of liked, travelling, kayaking, climbing, going to the place that makes me happy, mental health is a big issue with me and without the outdoors I dont know who I am at the moment, without the human interaction I dont know who I am anymore, without the social skills I dont know who I am anymore, the question is will I discover who I am again, the answer would be YES, I may suffer in silence as I dont like to express my feelings to people however i never give up in what I believe in and that is being the person I was brought up to be, respectful, polite and a positive person, yes I have bad days, even weeks or months but I try my very best to overcome it as much as I can, the outdoors helps me alot not only for my mental health but for my brain injury and my autism, being in nature, to be able to walk with nature is my positivity that I bring to my life and with COVID-19 still around for a while I shall just have to firgue a way to work round it.
8 months on since lockdown
So its October 1st nearly 8 months after the country was put into national lockdown, we are now back but only in local lockdowns throughout certain parts of the UK
So once again the government is as useless as a chocolate teapot so in Liverpool we can't go see our family indoors but can go the park to see them, what is the blinking difference, facts say the rule of six is working however cases are still rising, yes we are aware of that but the cases are rising because people disobey the 10pm curfew, police cant control the people who disobey it, its hard enough, the idiots who keep breaking it best sort them selves out now, the faster we obey by the rules the faster the restrictions get lifted
My other point is they said schools and only work travelling so what if you have a elderly person or disabled person who can't get a delivery because everyone is shopping online so they need to travel to the shops by public transport, is that illegal 🚫 because I'm sorry most of them can't walk up the road so is the government going to stop them from having food
My final point is have they even considered peoples mental health in this scenario, people rely on seeing family or friends for support, a chat over video is not always possible especially with the elderly, support bubbles are out of the question again, what's the point in making them when we can't keep them.
Yes I understand the virus is bad, I understand its spreading fast, I understand its a death toll but also I understand they are classing most of the deaths of people as COVID-19, someone told me a story that his mates dad died from natural causes but they put on the death certificate COVID-19 because he lived in a care home, how is that legal, its a fear factor the government is just frightening us to make them look good and to be honest its working for most people.
COVID-19 is never going away, we are always going to have cases just like the flu, but we may not have deaths but always have cases but out of everything that happens to us from cancer to heart diseases or even natural death causes only 1% of that is related to COVID-19 deaths out of 100%
What's wrong with just going back to normal and letting the country run with a little restriction such as masks, because we are fighting it on purpose is that why its staying round longer or can it just disappear if we don't fight it
I apologise over my rant but the government is pathetic and a bunch of strangers could run the country better than they can
Its 3 months before Christmas, students fighting to go home to there families for Christmas, people disobeying the rules, I believe the country is at war with fighting this COVID-19 virus, because people believe it is true and people believe it as a myth, is it just an experiment on how the country would deal with a situation like this or are we in for a long ride to danger, we shall just have to see.
So once again the country goes into some sort of lockdown, yet schools can still go in, work can still happen, but we cant see our family but them people can mix 🙄
Boris Johnson hasn't even considered people with mental health on how they can get support from there families or friends if they cannot see them ...... VIDEO CALLS DONT ALWAYS HAPPEN OR WORK especially with the elderly
Yes I totally understand this is serous and we need to keep fighting it but this is also getting more and more ridiculous each day, the country should be aloud to return to normal, COVID-19 is always gonna be here like the flu and cases are always gonna be on the rise so whats stopping us just carrying on with life just making precautions if people get covid
Also just whilst I'm ranting on when people die they are getting put down as COVID-19 caused it when it didn't - short story a taxi driver told me his friends dad was healthy, no medical problems and died in his sleep of natural causes but they put it down to COVID-19 on his death certificate is that even legal ...... NO it sure isn't so why are they allowed to do that
Let's just carry on with life and take it as it comes and if people don't like what I say I'm not bothered as its my opinion on all of this and this is how I cope
COVID-19 Birthday
Its been a year since COVID-19 and with things looking a little shallower, the battle still continues to fight this virus with vaccinations being put out there with 95% effective, its just a waiting game on when they will be open to the public itself
November 2020 the country went back into national lockdown again till 2nd December, 4 weeks of not knowing again, 4 weeks of being alone, 4 weeks of not seeing people and 4 weeks of not living that normality to life.
As time tiks by and Christmas only 4 weeks away and now rules being put in place such as Tiers for the country after lockdown, COVID-19 hopefully will be evaporated by the time 2020 ends and 2021 begins
My life being autistic and not liking change has been extremely difficult over the past year, so let's see whats changed and how its affected me:
- change within my routine ✔
- spending most of my life inside than outside ✔
- mental health struggles throughout the year; tears, anger, happy, sad, frustrated I have had it all ✔
- university all online instead of going to university itself ✔
- no practicals or any adventures ✔
WOW thats alot and over the year i haven't been able to deal with any of it and YES I'm not ashamed to talk about this, #mentalhealthmatters no matter who you are and this is my blog and my story behind how COVID-19 impacted me as an autistic adult and I shall keep the story going until it goes away
December 2020 , 1 month before 2021
So its currently 7th December 2020 as im writing this, current time 1542 and its official the UK has a vaccine and this week it will be rolling out to a list of people who are priority first then the rest of us, of course I fit in with the 16-65 year old with underlying conditions however the NHS staff and care home elders and workers are priority first and YES I support that 👍
Anyways enough blabbing on as you can see the world is starting to fight this virus, this pandemic, this disease, its took alot of my mental health to get where I am today and 1 year ago I said to myself I'd fight my demons and to this very day I am still fighting as NO nothing will ever be back to normal 💔 and change is still massive for me as for anyone who suffers from Autism and this blog is all about how mental health vs Covid-19 destroys people inside from changes to job loses to lives been taken away from us, its just a disaster in the world wind and hope for 2021 brings a better life to the world, the people, the environment and the unknowness.
As you can tell this is how I deal with my demons and how I deal with my brain injury and how I deal with my autism, anxiety and depression 🙃 I go out and explore nature, discover the history behind things and just SMILE 😁 because without my smile im just not me ...... and my true destiny on this earth is to bring positivity to anyone who needs it in their life no matter what I go through.
So as I leave this conversation here for 2020 I wish all a Merry Christmas 🎅 and Happy New Year 🎆, stay safe and I shall be back in 2021 with an update on how mental health vs covid 19 is going and how the world is beginning to turn again
DECEMBER 30TH 2020
A little update just before the new year comes in, once again the government have out most of England into tier 3 and more in tier 4, luckily I fit in the category of tier 3, however here we go again, mental health problems I face as my outdoors is put on hold with travels and among other things, being autistic doesnt help either with all these changes happening over and over again, YES I am aware to expect them but that doesn't matter as my brain works a different way, all I want it to be able to achieve alot in life and this COVID-19 has put a massive hole through that, mental health, autism and anxiety mixed in a cauldron is not a good thing 🥺, here's to brining in the new year with definitely a BANG .... hopefully it won't be for long as I dont know how id cope with much longer - my brain is failing, my speech is failing and so is my movement 🙃 due to having a brain injury the outdoors always helped and due to inactivity everything is failing on me 😫
A new beginning for me to healthy eating, back into my exercises and hopefully a new brain to bring with all this .... oh on other news which brings a bit of hope another vaccine has been approved for the UK so thats 2 vaccines now being supplied to millions of people 😀
Happy New Year Followers and here's to 2021, bring it on, we got this lets fight this once and for all because this girl needs her outdoors
January 4th 2021
So Happy New Year everyone and welcome to 2021, another year with the Coronavirus and what a surprise Boris Johnson is still useless as a chocolate teapot sending the whole of England into tier 4 - stay at home warning ⚠️, why not basically call it a national lockdown 🤬
Anyways as the adventures stand still again and mental health on the rise, I ask myself one question "will my autism be affected and how will my mental health survive this again" being away from adventures have destroyed my brain injury over this past year and half as being doing what I love helps heal my brain and keep my mental health and autism on track but what a surprise Boris Johnson doesn't care about that ..... YES I am aware of the dangers Coronavirus brings and what it is doing in the world, but I belive that messing round putting us into Tiers, lockdowns, people come and go doesn't help the situation. Either let us be who we want to be an carry on with life back to normal and let's see if that kills it or keep us locked 🔒 for months again, just so you know my opinion is option 1 as mental health is a sufferer first before Coronavirus, however that is my opinion .... keep tuned to see how this all pans out and hopefully by summer I shall have an adventure and you will see hand on action on how this pandemic is affecting my autism, mental health and my brain 🧠
4th January, Time: 2000
Well full lockdown again for at least 6 weeks oh what joy that will bring to people's mental health 🙄 UNDERSTANDABLE THIS VIRUS NEEDS BEATING AND PUNCHING TO THE GROUND but in cases where people suffer from mental health can that not be put into consideration too, people need things to make them feel like there achieving something, siting on your couch watching netflix is not achievement its a way where people can't control there demons, its where people start to overthink things, its where people go into a bubble and just smile because they don't want to be ashamed of looking like a fool, its where if you live alone loneliness takes action, there is only so much you can do that will help and being home 24/7 is not one of them MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS AND THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE AWARE OF THAT
January 22nd 2021
So as were already half way through January COVID-19 seems to still kicking our but, cases are high still and deaths are high and lockdown is around for at least another month hopefully as I dont know how much I can cope without doing at least 1 outdoor activity
Autism, anxiety and Covid-19 and not a good mixture the amount of changes I have gone through this past year is astonishing from not being able to do my usual routine to not being able to attend university, taking part in outdoor adventures 😢 I feel lost and different things have changed and all I want is normal now
On the good news over 5 million people have recieved the 1st vaccine and 1/2 a million have recieved the 2nd vaccine so hopefully in the next month we can get that 15 million mark for the 1st vaccine and restrictions start to ease, LETS DO THIS
as I take the path to freedom at the moment and I find different paths to go down to keep me sane I shall keep updating untill this is over and we are back to some kind of normal
Keep Safe everyone and keep following this journey on how I beat the Covid-19 lockdowns, Tiers with autism
February 1st 2021
So here we are 1 month into lockdown 3.0 and its been over a year since I felt like normal was part of my life, outdoor adventure feels like a holiday to me instead of my normality and university is nearly over with a year being online and what can I say ..... NOTHING
Autism, anxiety vs Covid-19 is a stressful situation to be in an this year has definitely took a toll on all of that 😬 however I aim to keep fighting for the freedom of nature, adventure and comfort in my bubble of unknowness
the darkness that rages through my body without an adventure in site the demon is released
On the positive side over 10 million people have been vaccinated so far thats 5 million away from the target of 15 million that Boris Johnson aims to do by 15th February 2021 and as from the 22nd February 2021 lockdown will be discussed in whether its going to be over and back into Tiers or some kind of normality to this girls life 😀 #highlydoutit but only time will tell, im just hoping in April 2021 I get to do my final practical in #secondhome of course Plas Y Brenin (essential assesment needed to pass my 3rd year at university) also a bit of freedom even if it still involves masks and social distancing some kind of adventure would be nice with the people I havent seen for over a year 😅
2021 February 16th
It's just coming up to a month an a half since the country went into its 3rd lockdown and what can I say its been hard, dealing with autism, anxiety and lockdown all in one is a recipe for disaster and im not going to lie thats how it has felt since this pandemic started and it will take my brain alot of power to accept to make my brain feel normal again, from being aloud out to not and not being able to go to my happy places, WOW this pandemic has took its toll on my life
Anyways enough about that lets get onto something a bit more positive, vaccines have reached the target of 15 million people in England alone and that was the aim, a road out of lockdown starts from the 22nd February where we wait on the big what if ...... schools opening Scotland and Wales from 22nd February, and possibly 8th March for England, then in England outdoor recreation which means possibly a look into some adventures with myself or with university, then non essential shops and then finally hospitality .... and touch wood this is the final lockdown as I can't cope with any more STAY AT HOME, I need the freedom to express my own brain, certain restrictions I can manage but not another lockdown
Another positive note I have had my 1st vaccine of COVID-19 and yes the side effects were horrible, from a major thumping headache to an achy body, followed by fever and chills on top of flu like symptoms 😢 which caused a seziure of course, never again in my life would I want to go through that again especially with the fever and chills due to trigger seziures happening when my body cant control its temperature, god for bid the next one gives me a bit of leeway.
SO I SHALL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS AN ADVENTURE IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT MOUNTAINS, CLIMBING, KAYAKING ..... its about exploring, investing and making memories 😁 so here is one my memory of February 2021
Home away from home and an investigation around Bidston Hill/Windmill/Observerty etc, its all about getting muddy, getting lost on the path and creating that authentic adventure and make them memories count before its too late
22nd February 2021
So here it is my followers of this blog .... the roadmap to freedom, the light at the end of the tunnel, we can do this 💪
The Four stage roadmap out of lockdown (England) (Wales and Scotland working on a different schedule) starts from 8th March with schools and education as a priority of course 👍🏼 Stay at home message
From 29th March a bit more freedom and a bit of socialising to our lives 🤗 short distance travelling
From the 12th April non-essential shops, play centres, areas such as outdoor resources, zoos etc 🐅 and of course short distance travelling
From 17th May rule of six will change to maximum 30 people outdoors etc woop better outdoor adventures happening with me hopefully around this time
From June 21st the government states it will end this social distancing and rules forever following the data stays on track 👣
This news has been the best I have received in a year ..... from not being able to explore the world, see the people I care about as often as I usually, to travel to my happy place 😊 (wales), to study in an actual classroom taken away from me and not be myself for a very long time, this bit of freedom brings me hope to my autism, anxiety and Covid-19 is on the way of getting its bum kicked 🙌
But were as freedom becomes a struggle for me I have changed alot over this past year from planning in years to planning in months to planning in days, its really took a toll especially on my autism, change is a massive impact on my life and this year has changed my whole life all together, I've gone from finding my voice to hiding it away and not speaking alot, being able to deal with the real world again, the noise, the sensory overloads, the stuff I already know being new again, my brain has been in a year of lockdown of its own and bringing that back to life is going to be hard as I take my final steps finishing my degree however the practical assessment is a social distancing residential, 2m/1m+ away from the support, the people I care about, the fun we have to do at a distance, it actually scares me not being able to actually do my part as an adventurer explorer of the world, meltdowns when things go wrong, it's a long road to recovery into the NEW NORMAL 🤯 but I know I got this 🤙it's just like baby steps, taken 1 step at a time and freedom will come when it's ready for me.
12th March 2021
As restrictions start to ease and with a month away from a bit more freedom, anxiety has kicked in for me even more, as an outdoor person I never thought this would happen, I can't wait for the freedom, to be able to get out there, back to my adventures and wanderlust walks, but autism is a big what if for me, its hard dealing with change, its hard dealing with the new normal and its even hard when I don't have a structure to my life, there's been panic , there's been tears, yes alot of them because when I get frustrated, how I deal with it is through emotions 😢, I know how the world works alot more than people due to my autism, my brain works in a very special unique way and having this new normal is proving to be a lot more difficult than I imagined, am I gonna give up NO because that's not me, I smile and prove to my brain, its ok not to be ok and let's make adventures worth it again 😀
YES Covid-19 has took alot of me over this past year, university online, no time to visit my happy place and scream at the top of a mountain, restrictions on where I can go, adventures barley even 1, its alot to take in for someone who is used to being always on the move ........ summer 2021 here I come and were coming I with a big bang, its time to show the world we got this, whether its anxiety, autism or panic let's bring them along for the ride and show the world what we're made of 🤙
23rd March 2021
A year today was the day the world stood still, Schools closed , national lockdown, trapped in our own houses, today we mark a reflection on how things have changed our lives either for a while or a life time
Vaccines are on a roll, cases are still a little too high but them deaths are dropping slowly, YES too many deaths over this past year and all will be remembered in our hearts 💕 forever
The road map out of lockdown is on the agenda and pathway to freedom next .....
1 week till we are free to leave our homes ..... 3 weeks untill non-essential items become part of our life again ....... just under a month before hospitality reopens its doors and finally ....... 2 months till this will be officially over 🙌 WE HOPE
So where do I stand in all this, lockdown, tier systems, the whole shabang has been a rollercoaster of emotions over this past year being able to not participate in the outdoors has felt like a rope being cut when climbing a cliff face 🏔 the breakdowns, the anger, the frustration, the amount of anxiety I have had with my autism its been one heck of a ride ...... in under 3 weeks I get to feel a bit more normality, I get to be outdoors even it is just for university studies as being stuck to a computer screen for a year has had its moments and now its time to be FREE
I've learnt to be a different person over this past year with adapting to a new normal to learning new things it hasn't been that bad ......... WELL ..... don't get me wrong I love learning new tricks up my sleeve but I'd rather learn about them virtually not through computer screens, technology has definitely taken over our lives this past year and this summer I am choosing to be less part of it, I want to experience the culture, the outdoors more, the skills and many more things to come, anxiety and Covid-19 can be put in a little pocket and stored away forever ..... LETS SEE HOW THAT GOES SHALL WE 🤙
UPDATES WILL BE MORE REGULAR AS I BRING THE TASTE OF FREEDOM ALONG WITH ME AND BEGIN THE JOURNEY OF A LIFE TIME EVENTUALLY BUT REMEBER A FEW THINGS IN YOUR LIFE AND MAKE GOOD CHOICES
1) Remember to always be yourself
2) Your Perfect
3) Don't change for anyone
4) Your Beautiful
5) Your Smart
AND REMEMBER TO ALWAYS SMILE 😃
30th March 2021 (stage one : part two)
Yesterday lockdown restrictions started to ease where we could have a bit more normality to life and I have never been so happy but nervous in my life, it was time to set things ahead of me, adventures, more freedom and thats where I'm starting only 2 more weeks and I get to meet up after a year with my university group, I cannot wait, the socialising is well and truly needed
6th April 2021
Happy Easter Everyone 🐣 a little late bit this weekend was the first weekend I felt a bit of normality come toy brain
A visit to the Liverpool River Light Festival was the beginning to a new adventure for me as the 12th April 2021 creeps up and non-essential shopping opens, time is ticking by to bring normality back into society and boy have I been waiting a long time ⌛ but then there is the nervousness behind all that, due to restrictions being in place, the outdoors will be jam packed with load of people, noise, change and anxiety is stressing enough for me could I bring myself to deal with it all at once ... We shall have to see
April 12th 2021
The time is here my friends , non essential shops, travel its all happening g again, and finally for the first time in a year I got to meet up with university and it wasnt online
It felt weird, things felt crazy was this our final road to recovery with us all acting like 5 years olds as we hadn't seen people in a year it was nice to feel that normality again
Anxiety was still running through my body for me it was a little different for me to try feel that normal again and actually interact with physical humans but in time I shall get there again
So let's keep the positive train going and stay safe by following the rules so when June 21st comes we can say goodbye to COVID-19 forever ..... HOPEFULLY
18th April 2021
So its been a whole week since the lockdown restrictions lifted a little, people got to meet for the first time in months or even a year, non essential shops gained some normality and buisness of course, however its still a long way off to go 🚶
I ask myself each day where I stand in this circle as I struggle to make sense of the the world now adays essential when it comes to how the government runs things, pubs and other priorities are more important than the outdoors, yes there outdoor beer gardens only, but simple things such as social distancing camping for university cannot take place but I can go meet 6 strangers for a pint outside or walk round a shop where people arnt really staying 2m apart, has the world gone crazy a simple thing that turned into a nightmare not only for us on an OUTDOOR ADVENTURE DEGREE but for me personally as this meant structure and change and routine was in a swizl again, only time will tell if my brain would actually cope with all that again 🙄
Its been over a year since I participated in a proper outdoor adventure and YES actives are still available for us but it's just not the same, it's our final year ...... yes it's been a whole 3 years WOW hasn't that gone quick and I have missed a year and a half of adventure, nature and just being me as a human being living for the outdoors, this pandemic caused alot of issues for me as my university experience was ruined in what I expected it to be, yes it was made in a way online for me but ..... come on who expects an outdoor degree to be online, its like saying I cam do my driving lesson over a zoom meeting, it just didn't work 🙃 but with my final year ending soon, my masters degree is next ....... so let's hope COVID-19 can do one by then as I'm not spending my next 2 years of adventures social distanced apart or wearing silly little masks ...... let's beat this once and for all and break out of our shells for summer 😁
April 30th 2021
Not gonna lie I am ashamed to live in this town how do they think this is acceptable .... whether you have a negative or no Covid-19 doesn't mean you can out clubbing with no social distancing or masks you can have a negative test but have the traces of covid , its the cousin of the flu 🤧 people out there haven't seen there family for a year and people like us in the outdoors are looking for work with being out of it for a year but no they think it's acceptable to go clubbing just because they think people need this ..... clearly the government has better things to think about and if this stops me looking for work this summer I am seriously gonna see my bum 😒
May 26th 2021
Well as Covid-19 restrictions start to ease and things start to open again, my adventures slowly creep up my body as i slowly take on the world again and being fully vaccinated helps as well because certain country's and places only accept people who have had both their vaccines, time ticks by and summer arises and many smiles and adventures are to follow, however the nervousness of going back into the big wide world still stands at my feet as i begin the climb to the top making sure i don't descend again.
June 13th 2021
As adventures start to feel a bit more real and Covid-19 is still around, we slowly creep up to the final decent the world has to take ....... 21st June 2021 is the date we were given and on 14th June 2021 we find out if that is going ahead, unfortunately there are conversations to delay it by 4 weeks as the Covid-19 variants are taking its toll on the society and people believe it will call another lockdown if the open for all business goes ahead
But what does that mean for me, less travel or local travels, 🤔 also I can deal with the situation I'm in now but my brain can't go backwards, it would be a disaster for myself as I have worked so hard to get to were I am today ..... the effort, the changes, the routines I have had to deal with have been a disaster most days as planning is what my brain does and without planning I don't know who I am ... but we shall have to see, will the Covid-19 beat my autism and how would I deal with massive changes again .... stay tuned as I keep not only myself up to date but my amazing followers who has been with me along this weird and unusual journey
7th July 2021
So my final input to this blog would be the following, the government has now delayed the intension of completing the final stage of restrictions which now complies with 19th July 2021, another disaster brought to the table of the so called government masks and social distancing has been in action for past 18 months and what have me learnt from it ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, whether restrictions are in place or not COVID-19 is still around and as for now telling us we are going to have to live with it, FACT, we knew that from day one since it leaked into this country but everyone followed the rules of the government as it was the LAW and the past 2 months have seen our own government breaking the rules, BBQ with no masks or social distancing, trial runs for festivals with no masks, no social distancing and and what have we learned nobody caught coronavirus or has had a positive test from it, so just goes to show how we are all being controlled with it all and FACT from sources state the government have a deadline for 2030 around global warming, another thing that has been affecting our country for many years, so they stated since being locked up and less cars on the road there has been global warming targets being reached so does that mean we have to be lockdown more to me them targets ..... erm I don't think so 🤔 we just have to learn to live with it just as we have to learn to live with many more things in our lives, depression, anxiety, autism, cancer, flu virus etc
So where do we stand today, nothing has changed much for me apart from the outdoors opening up a bit more, helping with coping with my meltdowns and anxiety and depression and I leave this blog on one thought as I have officially gave up with hearing more about COVID-19 than what we can do in the world to make it a better place to live and how we can change so many lives so here's to less negativity and more positivity that I bring to my blogs and create one with the world again
